August 3, 2012 by Miranda Gargasz
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Dear Reader,
I?m a liar.? Plain and simple.
I couldn?t take it.? I?ve failed at pseudo-Amish-ism.? I cannot go a full week without electronics.? That?s just??.
Pathetic.
My kids have driven me to the brink of insanity.? They can?t play board games without breaking out into screaming matches, the likes of which have me turning the hose on them.? Who bred these poor losers?? If Jimmy isn?t busting out an attitude worthy of several beatings, Tony is bursting with tears because Jimmy looked at him cross-eyed!? Tony whines about having to read.? Jimmy crabs about not having video games.? They both walk around like deaf people, having to be told several times to do something, forgetting entire conversations.? It?s like they?ve been disconnected from the hive mind and can no longer function.? Jim is getting crabby without television and I?m being driven homicidal by the three guys in my house who seriously need to chill the hell out!? My sense of humor packed its bags on Monday and refuses to return until the testosterone levels in my house subside to livable quantities.
Geez!
It?s been an industrious four days, however hellish.? The garage is very nearly ready for the influx of wood coming its way.? The boys and I have a few wood working projects ahead of us in the next week or so.? They should have fun as long as I don?t have to go all Jack Torrance on them.? (Those of you who read Stephen King know what I?m talking about.? Those who don?t, a quick synopsis:? A dad locked away with his family with no connection to society goes insane and tries to murder his family.? Granted, there was a creepy hotel and crazy amounts of snow involved, but, for our sake we?ll just blame it on the heat and masochistic electronics deprivation.)
Jim admitted to cheating this morning.? He came home from work at 7 a.m. and had four beers while watching Mission:? Impossible on Netflix.? Can you believe him?? The nerve!? This was his idea after all.? I made it through one more evening.? I told the boys all they have to do is make it one day without attempting to murder one another and actually listen to me, and I will give everything back.
If they don?t make it, I may have to toss an X box into the living room and run like hell to my porch swing with my Nook in one hand and a pina colada in the other.
On second thought, it?s been a rough four days.? Make it a pina colada for each hand.
Always,
Miranda
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Source: http://scatteringmoments.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/liar-liar-pants-on-fire/
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